Elephants pee up to twenty gallons a day and rhinos can pee
as far as fifteen feet. Those are just a couple of the interesting facts we learned
during our day at Animal Kingdom. We also learned that our family can walk over
eleven miles through a theme park before we wear out completely.
To the disgust of our children, we woke them up at 7 a.m. so we
could be at the park early. Despite our sleepiness, that first glimpse of
the Walt Disney World Resort sign gave us a rush of adrenaline as we approached the park. We paid for preferred parking, and the parking lot attendant handed us water bottles as she directed us to the third space from the front
in a parking lot that spans 100 acres.
We entered the park and walked straight to Discovery Island
to see the Tree of Life, a 145-foot man-made Baobob Tree that serves as the
park’s iconic symbol. Hundreds of guests gathered near the tree for the rope drop, which is just a
term Disney uses for “park opening.” As we waited, a woman’s (slightly
irritating) voice came over the park speakers to welcome us. Music swelled as she said, “Get ready to enter your own
adventure story and let your imagination take
flight!” just as two dozen parrots flew over our heads, squawking and
beating their wings and scaring the ever-loving bejeezus out of those of us who
weren’t expecting it. Once the panic subsided, I realized the whole thing was pretty magnificent.
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| An alter with Everest in the background |
The moment the park opened, we (along with the rest of the park-goers) headed straight
for Asia, where the roller coaster Expedition Everest was number one on our list. We had
FastPasses for 9:35, but it was only 9:00 and the queue had already reached a
45-minute wait. A cast member asked us what time our FastPasses were for and I
told her. She said, “Oh, how ‘bout I just let you go now?” and she scanned our
tickets and told us to have a great time. We zipped through the line so fast
that we never even had a chance to enjoy the exhibit that tells the ride’s
story (and keeps guests from getting bored in line). We climbed into the train
and started up the Himalayas. When we reached top of the snowy mountain, we
came to a sudden stop; the track in front of us was broken and twisted. For 10
seconds we just sat there, staring out over Orlando when all of a sudden, we were thrown
in reverse and thrust backwards into total darkness. I had no idea which way was up. I do recall seeing a Yeti, but I think my
eyes were squeezed shut for most of the ride. If I were an elephant, there would've been 20 gallons of pee in my train.
When the ride was over, Chad wasn’t feeling too hot, so he
sat out on the next ride in DinoLand U.S.A. The ride was called Dinosaur, and it was
narrated by Bill Nye the Science Guy and Claire Huxtable. That should tell you
everything you need to know. The kids
couldn’t get out of DinoLand U.S.A. fast enough, and they were so disappointed
that it bore the name “U.S.A.” Ali said the Asia and Africa sections of the
park “are much more cultured. They all have this intricate detail, and the
U.S.A. is all, ‘step right up and get yourself a hot dog!’” And she’s not wrong.
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| My babies |
Back in Asia, we rode the Kali River Rapids, a river raft
ride that took us on a winding trip through a jungle, before dropping us down a
20-foot slope causing a splash that dumped 60 gallons of water directly down my
back into my underwear and shoes. That equals 3 days’ worth of elephant pee, in
case you were wondering.
Ashley was the only dry one because when she saw the number
of people getting off the ride soaked to the bone, she jumped out of line and
waited for us; the rest of us just marinated in Disney ride juice for the rest of
the day. Our next stop was the Maharajah Jungle Trek, which is a walking
tour of Southeast Asia. We saw tigers, water buffalo, and a komodo dragon, and
we felt an awful lot like we were at the Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle. |
| My eyes! My eyes! |
And then we saw the bats. Oh my Lord, the bats. I’m not sure we
will ever recover from that fiasco. I’ll spare you the story and you can just
see for yourself. If you choose to zoom in, you only have yourself to blame.
Leaving Asia, we popped over to Africa (which I think is the same way early humans ended up there, according to science) and on the way there, Jackson
repeatedly sang the high harmony to Toto’s “Africa” and got the song stuck in our heads for the rest of the day. Chad and I told the kids that when we were
young, we thought the lyrics were, “I guess it rains down in Africa...” and they
thought we were so dumb.
While in Africa, we went on the Kilimanjaro Safari tour and saw
giraffes, crocodiles, rhinos, and more. Jackson provided us with a sarcastic narration
of the safari which was so funny I wish I had recorded it. I hope the gentleman
next to him thought it was as funny as the rest of us.
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| White rhino |
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| Giraffes. Obviously. |
For lunch, Ali and Jackson returned to DinoLand U.S.A. to
eat at Restaurantosaurus. I’m not kidding, that’s its name. Ashley joined Chad
and me at Flame Tree Barbecue, where we sat on the bank of Discovery River and
tried to keep the storks from stealing our food. The older kids went back to
brave Expedition Everest one more time, while we took Ashley to see It’s Tough
to be a Bug.
The five of us met back up at Harambe Market in Africa and
then took the Wildlife Express Train to Rafiki’s Planet Watch, the conservation
center in Animal Kingdom. We spent time at their petting zoo called The
Affection Section, and I pet the goats until my fingers turned black and greasy
and smelled like a filthy barn. It was glorious.
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| Ashley made a buddy |
Realizing that we’d done everything we wanted to, we left
the park and were so happy that our car was just outside the gate because we were
beat. Back at the condo, the kids collapsed in their beds, and Chad and I
enjoyed a hot foot bath in our Jacuzzi. For dinner, the girls wanted to stay
home, so we took Jackson to eat at BJ’s Restaurant & Brewhouse and had a
great time with our boy.
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| Shampoo makes excellent bubble bath |
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| Jackson is so appreciative of our affection |
Eventually, Ali texted us telling us to come home because The Walking Dead was about to start, and
we weren’t allowed to miss it. So, now I guess I’ll be having nightmares about
bats and zombies.
Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase
Hakuna Matata! Ain't no passing craze
It means no worries for the rest of your days
It's a problem free philosphy
Hakuna Matata!
-The Niemeyers
Are you doing a new park everyday???
ReplyDeleteYes, Ma'am!
ReplyDelete