Portland, OR 2013 - Day 3

Tom, Mike, Lydia... and Chad the Loner

We have spent the last few days in the company of some extremely brilliant people.  Although none of their genius appears to have rubbed off on me as I had hoped, I think I may have them believing I am of comparable intellect.  I used a number of techniques that I will share with you.  Feel free to use them if you ever find yourself trying to impress smart people:

• Use a lot of big words (this should be an obvious method, but trust me, we dumb people need all the tips we can get.) 
• Wear fake glasses, remove them intermittently, pausing as if deep in thought, and chew on the tip of the glasses, while slowly nodding.
• Draw a lot of pie charts and use a pointer to demonstrate things like "growth and development."  Don't let your children color the pie charts, the smarties will quickly grow suspicious.  
• When there is a lull in the conversation, fiercely scribble “math problems” on a napkin, mutter words under your breath like, “flux capacitor,” “1.21 gigawatts” and “88 miles per hour.” Every now and again whisper-scream, "Great Scott!" as if to appear you have just solved a problem.  A word of caution: Do not use this trick around people who may have seen Back to the Future.  A sneaky way to find out if they have is to say, "Hey, has anyone here seen Back to the Future?"  If they say, "Yes," skip this step.
• Finally, smoke a pipe, drink brandy, and debate every statement anyone makes, regardless of its validity.  If they respond with "What does that even mean?" Just simply whisper back, "What do you even mean?  What does any of it mean?"  That'll give them something to think about.

Not even kidding - this was on the elevator with us first thing.
The blue is so light and "baby" that it's hard to make out in the photo.  

This morning Chad, Lydia, Tom, and I arrived at Jeffery Allen at 7:30.  As they got settled in, and the caterer unloaded his van, I explored the store.  The owner, Allen, and I spent over an hour together in which he taught me a lot about the Asian culture that influences his store and his life.  He is a collector, and the pieces in his store are fascinating and I was scared to touch anything.  That store is a far cry from Pier 1 Imports.  I purchased a soy candle, and we talked about how I am a very scent-oriented person.  He told me to close my eyes, and inhale.  I did—for some reason I trusted that Allen wasn't going to shove something in my mouth like most people I know would—I breathed in deeply, and my nose was filled with one of the most glorious scents imaginable.  I opened my eyes, and he was holding a bundle of incense.  He has it specially made in Vietnam to use in the store and it’s made from real sandalwood, so it was a much cleaner scent than the musky smell of imitation sandalwood.  I almost distracted him so I could slip the bundle of incense in my bag, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

I met Nicole at the hotel for breakfast and we enjoyed a nice hour together.  I went back to our room and watched the clock.  And Napoleon Dynamite.  Eventually 11:30 rolled around, and we went back to the store to meet up with the group.  They were just wrapping up, when Chad came over, handed me a bundle of sandalwood incense and said, “This is a gift from Allen.”  I never got to thank him because he was busy with a client, but I cannot wait to get it home and fill my house with what our friend Evan calls the “convenience store smell.” 

Chad and Mike had made plans to go back to the shipyard and have some more meetings.  Meetings must be really cool I’m guessing.  I think I’d like to start having meetings at my house.  You are invited if you’d like to come; we can talk about all sorts of things.

Nicole and I went to Lloyd Center to shop, which we both hate doing, to kill time while the boys were at the yard.  Finally they came and met us at Barnes and Noble.  I was holding a copy of Dante’s Inferno and flipping through it, deciding whether I should buy it.  I asked Mike, “Have you read this?”  “Oh, yeah,” he said.  “What translation is that?  I’m a big fan of Longfellow, and his translation is excellent…” and then he went into a monologue about the book, and about Dante himself, that made me feel like I was taking a college course right there among the Bargain Books.  Chad and I started picking up random books from the Classics table—“Have you read this one?  How ‘bout this one?”  We were giddy to be in the presence of such a voracious reader, who, I am happy to say, has also never read, Fifty Shades of Grey.

The four of us decided on a Thai restaurant nearby and walked over to Broadway for lunch at Chai Yo.  We stuffed ourselves: We ordered Miang Kham, Kanom Jeeb, Larb, Green Curry, Pad Thai, Pad Kana  Nam Mun Hoy… as you can see, I am pretty much fluent in Thai now.  The waitress kept coming over to us and chatting us up.  She was from Thailand, and she was very friendly; in fact, she was SO friendly that she carried her 2 year old daughter Emily to our table and told her to hug her “aunties” and “uncles.”  The little girl did so gladly, and then I started to worry that perhaps she was trying to sell little Emily to us, so we got out of there fast.

I had to prove that Nicole is real

We said our farewells to Mike and Nicole, and Chad took me on a date to Bridgeport Village to see a movie.  We saw Girl Most Likely, and by the time it was over, the outdoor lights were on in the shopping village and we walked to Peet’s to get some coffee.  It was warm out, the village was so clean and beautiful, the people were relatively happy… it was just a peaceful night.  It’s weird though—every time I thought of our kids, I got a lump in my throat.  We’re missing our babies and we knew they must be wanting their parents.  So we called them:

“Hi Jackson, do you miss us?” 

“Uh, sort of, I guess.” 

Our poor boy is so brave and strong to pretend like he hasn't been spending every waking minute pining for his mommy and daddy.  Don’t worry, little fella, we’ll be home soon.

-The Niemeyers